Pages (21): « First « 1 [2] 3 4 5 6 » Last » Post Reply  Post Thread 

The current Plot ideas.
Author Message
Draik
Senior Member
****


Posts: 643
Group: Uploaders
Joined: May 2007
Status: Away
Reputation:
Post: #11
RE: The current Plot ideas.

Surprise. There is no one else. The only non-writer that has actually given valuable advice is me; and it wasn't really so much valuable as it was just advice. And that just kind of hurts.














And excel too, but I didn't reall include him for reasons left unsaid...





This post was last modified: 06-10-2007 09:10 AM by Draik.

06-10-2007 09:04 AM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
geyter
Senior Member
****


Posts: 608
Group: Manga Group
Joined: May 2007
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #12
RE: The current Plot ideas.

Excel was here? haven't seen her in a long while...
But i already got advice from you. That's why i added the vague last minute love description! (i'm really not good at that kinda stuff :D)
Btw what's with the big space in the post? don't get it...

06-10-2007 09:17 AM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
CrazyBleachFan
Posting Freak
*****


Posts: 900
Group: Manga Group
Joined: May 2007
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #13
RE: The current Plot ideas.

Yeah sorry I was very vague with everything, but here we go.

There are three big sects in the world right now.

1. Humans-The humans run most of the world, in cities and such, and are protected by gifted humans called spirit users. Normal humans also have a natural spirit level, but it is very low. They are headed by Spirit Society (Idk for a name, so if someone could help with that too).

2. Beasts/Monsters- These are usually primitive creatures that roam the world. Seemingly, (because we could add later on) they are disorganized and only live to kill and feast on spirit energy that they then use to battle/evolve into a stronger being. They are never seen as humans, because humans are too far up the evolution scheme I guess.

3. Humanoid Demons- These are the most dangerous sect, because no one has the precise location of where they are. They are headed by the Higher Arcs (a council of the some of the most powerful warriors in the world). As I was hoping to unveil later, but Crimson finds out that he was elected there due to his potential and also that many of the demons fighting on the front lines rival Higher Arc power. Do not get humanoid demons confused though, they are full bred demons, but have a normal form that appears humanoid.

Also, I know this is going to be asked, but what is spirit power and what can it do. Well, spirit power is exclusive to humans mostly, except for on rare occasions, and can be turned into anything really, as seen with Jade's fighting style. Demonic energy is exclusive to demons oly, except for once again rare occasion. Demonic energy is almost identical to spirit energy, except for the fact that spirit energy can be used to heal and other things, where demonic energy cannot, but vice versa demonic energy can perform things that spirit energy cannot.

Now, monsters have the unique ability of being able to absorb, when they devour their target, their spiritual or demonic energy.

Ok now, Geyter I thought your story was pretty good, but one thing I would change (not really something bad, but maybe a good plot), is have one of the old man's actual grandchildren survive too. That in later chapters would fuel many different conflicts among other things.





Itachi Uchiha: Suzaku, the Vermilion Bird
Remember the chapter! Naruto 363...The worst chapter ever written.
06-10-2007 10:14 AM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
Arctic
Senior Member
****


Posts: 305
Group: Manga Group
Joined: May 2007
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #14
RE: The current Plot ideas.

CBF - When i look at yours i think of the old style mangas.. and also, it seems a bit too redundant. just not to my tastes

Geyter - while it's pretty good, i dont like the fact that it's extremely cliche and characters seem too shallow.
However, i think blending our stories might work, since the thing with the sensei could mean that instead of a peasant family, it's the sensei that took him in and Talon could be the enemy general in my story.


So here's a revised version.

Main character - Phoenix - Spear & Sword.

Can summon weapons, so he doesnt need to carry them around.


In a land divided by war, three great nations fight for dominance.

The kingdom of Alcyona, Ruled by King Reinas VI
The Siriand Empire, Ruled by Emperor Lupral
The Republic of Tien, Headed by Lord Yanying and The Heavenly Council

Our hero, Phoenix (named for his mysterious tattoo on his back),
is an orphan boy who appears one day with no memories and was taken in by a mysterious swordsman that disappeared suddenly one day after training Phoenix for four years,
and he was taken in by Sensei Hanzo of the Oda Dojo. This is in the kingdom of Alcyona in a small town near the border

He continued his training at the Dojo for nine years, until one day, while he was out hunting alone, General Talon of the Siriand Empire attacked his village and slaughtered every single inhabitant.

When he returned, he found his village burnt to the ground and himself ankle deep in blood.

He saw the banner of Talon's army retreating in the distance, and swore revenge.

He fought bandits and made a name of himself, then joined the Grand Cross, the elite unit of Alcyona's army.

He makes his way in, then fights off cocky older members and defeats them, causing him to be respected by a few other members, including Galea, an archer, Tierros, an axeman, and Firenze, a knight.

These three became his best friends in the cross, and he also had a few rivals:

Luna, a swordswoman who wants to be the next GC general

Piere, a Lancer who wants to be the strongest lancer in the world.

And eventually, he is noticed by General Lionel, who mentors him in strategy and techniques. After that, the seer Seles teaches him a few magic spells in addition to the summoning technique he had learned from Sensei Hanzo.

He is assigned to a border patrol, and an assasin from Tien attempts to kill him, but he managed to deflect her strikes and knocked her in the back of the head with a strong kick.

When she awakes, she is unable to remember her identity aside from a single word, "Kunoichi", so that is what Phoenix calls her.




The war wages on, with lots of twists and turns, and soon Phoenix finds out Firenze was really a spy for the Siriand empire, under General Talon.

Enraged, he finds Firenze and a huge battle ensues.





and so on... to be continued and revised.





- Regarding artwork - I'm only going to be busy for another 2-3 weeks or so, then i have no more finals and no more school.


and yes, i intend to maybe have it draw in the style of claymore.

Names will only be used for the really dramatic moves.




Yes, I made these myself. No downloaded brushes.

This post was last modified: 06-10-2007 10:53 AM by Arctic.

06-10-2007 10:50 AM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Visit authors website Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
CrazyBleachFan
Posting Freak
*****


Posts: 900
Group: Manga Group
Joined: May 2007
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #15
RE:  The current Plot ideas.

Arctic Wrote:

CBF - When i look at yours i think of the old style mangas.. and also, it seems a bit too redundant. just not to my tastes


That's a pretty harsh opinion, just saying it is redundant and really giving me anything to improve on. But you getting redundant from one chapter, because you problably based it off mangas you read, well doesn't yours seem redundant too. Whatever, I am not one to get angry at small comments, maybe next time make it a little more inconspicuous. Also, I think that (if we are using the combination of Geyter's and Artic's stories I guess) we keep geyter's beginning as the start of the story. We can work in your stuff Artic into that beginning, but geyter's beginning seemed more with pizazz with that whole baseline he had.





Itachi Uchiha: Suzaku, the Vermilion Bird
Remember the chapter! Naruto 363...The worst chapter ever written.
06-10-2007 11:55 AM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
Greg
T3h 1337 /-\dm1n of D00m!
**********


Posts: 923
Group: Administrators
Joined: May 2007
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #16
RE: The current Plot ideas.

Wouldn't it be better to suggest something not in depth and have everyone develop it together?


:lol:The roll is back! ROLL!:lol:
06-10-2007 12:40 PM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
Arctic
Senior Member
****


Posts: 305
Group: Manga Group
Joined: May 2007
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #17
RE: The current Plot ideas.

:|


What i meant was that this whole demon and servitude thingy seems really... unmangaish to me. It's hard to explain.


Also, evil -> good might be innovative, but if you think about it, it's kinda hard to work out with the details you put in. Also, the whole yes my apprentice, yes my master thing seems REALLY, REALLY corny to me


Also, you put in fanservice right into the plot outline - that's not a good thing, that kind of stuff comes last.




Sorry if it's harsh, but that's my honest opinion.




Yes, I made these myself. No downloaded brushes.
06-10-2007 03:26 PM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Visit authors website Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
geyter
Senior Member
****


Posts: 608
Group: Manga Group
Joined: May 2007
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #18
RE: The current Plot ideas.

Well in my story you also have 3 kingdoms, so that we can adapt too.
And if you use the beginning like CBF suggested, we can still have the hero join an army. And i can't see why my magic system can't be used in cross' world, as i said it is kinda low grade magic. (For instance the lightning users can polarise their weapons for better defence or depolarise for better offence -> you know slipping past guards because of the counter magnetics. The strongest techniques would then be just a small bolt of lightning or something like that.)
Having the hero excel in two weapons seems kinda over the top to me but you probably have some sort of story or relic for that in mind, and if you combine it with the summoning magic it could work.
Though i have to say arctic your work would be better suited for a fantasy novel than for manga. It connects more with feelings and standing and the camp fire dialogue would work a lot better if you can get into it a bit more, you know draw it out longer. And you can't really do that in manga. So more book or graphic novel style would enhance the story or at least the grip with the protagonists.
That is fyi why my characters are shallow, you can't go into dept in a first chapter.
That said, i really like all the names you used! They are brilliant! a lancer with a french style name, a kingdom with germanic, a republic with chinese, a ninja with japanese... That is really well written, did that take you long? If it didn't you really have a knack for it.

Also CBL, i kinda had the idea to do a more enemy/ally/enemy thing. At first the guys go and see the water captain, to fight Talon together and so on. Eventually the fire nation attacks and Talon and our hero have to combine forces for a long strung out campain. After the defeat of the fire, the contest for lightening has to be settled. Of course this is just random sketching and would take years and years of manga (wich really isn't the point here probably :D)
But the grandson idea kind of has a ring to it. Ah well, can never have enough villains i guess :), especially the not so sure they are villains kind of style. I like it when anything can happen!

06-10-2007 07:49 PM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
Sparks
Manga leader|| i don't need 5000 posts.
********


Posts: 763
Group: Moderators
Joined: May 2007
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #19
RE: The current Plot ideas.

I like the whole geyter + arctic thing, but maybe we can have the GrandCross Become corrupt later on in the story, perhaps after the fight with general talon, and after they conquer Siriad empire, Pheonix realises he was fighting for a bent cause.


06-10-2007 07:59 PM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
CrazyBleachFan
Posting Freak
*****


Posts: 900
Group: Manga Group
Joined: May 2007
Status: Offline
Reputation:
Post: #20
RE: The current Plot ideas.

Forget you, Artic. Your opinion is just insulting someone else's work. We are a team that is why everything would be changed or thought upon as a group, but I guess your writing skills are too high for that, so forget you.


Yeah geyter, even having a little bit of elemental manipulation in the sotry would make a huge difference. Idk how much we want to go for, but we can decide later anyway. And yeah having the main character have two different styles of weapons would be a little far fetched, unless we were to give him a bow/arrow, and a sword or a combination along that line.

So, you want to do "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" theme? Where whoever is the greater enemy is the greater obstacle and the heor will ally with his other enemies? That would be cool problably, it would give a better look into the other side of the story.

Having the GrandCross turn corrupt would be good, but I wouldn't want all the commanding officers to be that way. Maybe make it a select few and they turn it into something wrong and have some noble fighters just following orders. Maybe perhaps by the hero's intervention, a civil war? idk there are some ideas.





Itachi Uchiha: Suzaku, the Vermilion Bird
Remember the chapter! Naruto 363...The worst chapter ever written.

This post was last modified: 06-11-2007 12:46 AM by CrazyBleachFan.

06-10-2007 09:46 PM
Send the author an email Send the author a private message Find all posts by this author Quote this message in a reply
Pages (21): « First « 1 [2] 3 4 5 6 » Last »

Post Reply  Post Thread 

View a Printable Version
Send this Thread to a Friend
Subscribe to this Thread | Add Thread to Favorites
Rate This Thread:

Forum Jump: