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The current Plot ideas.
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Sparks
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The current Plot ideas.

Crazy Bleach Fan's


“Finally, my years of discipleship have bore fruit. I have yearned for this day more than any creature can possibly fathom. I will join the highest of ranks…Death, destruction, and darkness, I can finally release all of it upon those pathetic races…But, what is this feeling? This feeling of inadequateness…That…that vision…What does it…"

A black gate is opened, as a single warrior walks into a large open chamber filled with demons, each in a row on their knees to an altar. The warrior walks slowly through the center opening amongst the demons. A luminous ray of moon light shines off of his dark red hair, as he reaches the dark altar. He bows down and pulls out a ceremonial dagger, as he cuts his wrist, spreading the blood on the floor. Finished, he looks up to see 5 figures appearing out of thin air. Each are hooded, as their dark eyes rest on the warrior. Shaded under the hoods, nothing is visible, except on four of them, there is an ominous light coming from the wrists and neck. The warrior puts his hands in his blood and raises them up in the air.

Warrior: Hail the Higher Arcs!

The demons in the room roar as their voices of blood lust shake the chamber. One of the hooded figures raises his hands, putting all the demons silent. The warrior stand up, keeping his head bowed.

Higher Arc: Disciple Crimson, you have come a long way. You were always deeply intoned to darkness and hatred. You have earned your place among us. Come here, loyal servant.

The warrior walks up the marble stairs leading to the altar. While he is doing that, the Higher Arc reveals a hidden box. He opens it showing the presence, of a pair of bracelets and a necklace that looked closely to a leash.

Higher Arc, after the warrior makes it up to him: Are you prepared to completely dedicate yourself to Dark Abyss?

Crimson, bowing his head down: Yes, Master Seitari. I have been dedicated to the organization always, even while training under you.

Master Seitari, smiling wickedly: Yes, my apprentice, you have, but you still must prove yourself.

Crimson: Have I not proven myself, murdering all those who you commanded me to?

Master Seitari: Yes, but there is a final task that all Higher Arcs need to complete. You must journey to the human society and stay there for one month. During that month, you are to find a spirit user and spy on them for you to learn about the enemy you will now be facing. At the end of the month, you are to…kill that spirit user. I have faith that you will be able to complete such a simple of task for you are different from the other demons…different even from us, the Higher Arcs. You have the capability to be truly evil. Now, for the final part of the ritual. You will put on these.

Master Seitari presents the box to the Crimson.

Crimson: Yes, Master. I will fulfill the expectations of my master and the Higher Arcs.

The box begins to glow a black aura, as it begins to twist and turn. Master Seitari releases it and takes a step back with the other Higher Arcs. The box remains in mid air as Crimson puts his hands on the side of it. Instantly, the necklace and bracelets latch onto his skin, as he screams in agonizing pain. They latch tighter and tighter as he cries out in horror and the chamber begins to shake. A large flame-like aura forms around him, as he falls to his knees. Finally, it erupts far into the sky almost trying to capture the moon. He falls face first into the floor.
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Somewhere in a large city, a black hair girl runs through the streets. She is closely followed by a young man. The two zig zag through street after street until they go down an alley way. They stop at its entrance and closely examine it. The girl looks down at a radar looking hand held.

Girl: Damn! I thought I had him ::Seeing the man coming sluggishly over:: Oh Charlie, was that too fast for you? Jees you are really slow.

Charlie, breathing heavily: Sorry, Jade. I am not really used to this constant monster hunt. Oh how I remember my cozy job back at Spirit Society (Best I could do. Couldn’t think of a name.).

He pauses and looks at Jade intently and blushes. He had admired her for some time now. She was very attractive looking, a nice body, carrying a good set of breasts and had beautiful blue eyes.

Charlie: Hey…hey Jade. What if I don’t know, maybe you and…

Jade, cutting him off: Shut up, Charlie. This guy is somewhere around here. Hey, monster, why don’t you come out? What’s wrong, you afraid of a girl?

Jade begins to go a little crazy, smacking her ass, jeering into the alley. Suddenly, the monster they had been searching for came out of the darkness and threw Charlie into a dumpster.

Jade, smiling: Gotcha.

The monster tries to rush at Jade, but she quickly dodges.

Monster, furious: Me afraid of a little bitch like you, spirit user?

Jade, her face shocked angrily by the remark, suddenly knees the monster in the face. The monster bleeding slightly is shocked by what she just did. Jade then pulls out a small looking ring and looks at the monster with complete woman’s fury. He rushes in on her, laughing at her little weapon. Instantly, Jade begins to glow and the small ring turns into a shot gun.

Monster: What the hell is that?

Jade, shouting: It’s the thing that’s going to be killing your ass with.

Jade shoots the monster through the chest and head. She rushes over to it, as she returns the shotgun to its original form. A couple of minutes later Charlie comes out of the dumpster.

Charlie, pulling a banana peel off his face: Jees, why do I always get attack first? I just had this dry cleaned too. Hey Jade…

He stops his sentence as he sees Jade mercilessly kicking the dead monster’s body over and over again.

Jade: Yeah who’s the bitch now? Hmm…who?

Charlie: Hey…hey Jade, I think he is dead now.

Jade, snapping back at him: I know that! But I want his spirit to feel my wrath some more.

Charlie, almost whispering: And you think by kicking his dead body, that you will hurt his spirit.

Jade, overhearing: What did you say?

Charlie, backing up: No…nothing, well actually, weren’t there two monsters we were tracking originally?

Jade, snapping back into reality: Oh yeah. I had forgotten. Well, if there was another monster with this creep, then he would have shown up by now. Ah, let’s just leave it at that. Let’s go home.

As they are leaving a dark figure is shown coming out of the alleyway. Taking off his hood, he reveals himself to be Crimson. He drags a slain monster with gaping wounds out and throws him onto the other one.

Crimson: It appears I have found my spirit user. :: Staring at Jade while she is running down a street:: Jade…Very interesting.


Geyter's

The manga starts with a handsome slim black robed and haired misterious looking tall guy on a heavily draped horse (gold, silk, ...). He is greeted by the local mayor and you can see all the girls whisper and act lovey dovey behind his back. They are whispering about "the fabled undercaptain" "The young hero" "The Lighting Talon" ...
He asks the mayor if the fabled Bari island is located near. The mayor tells him so but says no one is allowed near, only a local trader can visit the island. Talon charms him, and crosses the only bridge to the island (very long bridge)

Meanwhile you see a short fat kid (haha personalising) whining to his father he wants to back home, he's bored, and the island is boring... blabla. The father is a balding pleasant looking man who laughs it all off. He reminds the kid how important this visit is since he's the only trader allowed and the island needs stuff. He reminds him that he gets to play with the sensei's grandson when he gets to the dojo.

In the dojo you see Talon kneeling in front of sensei, asking if a 'hero of war' would be granted the legendary Golden Book of Bari. He claims it to be the only thing to perfect his technique.
Sensei ponders a moment, he looks at his 2 sons sitting astride from him. "You have heard stories, i presume? Incomplete stories, i imagine"
"Not incomplete! after years searching i found my path! The compilation of thousands of years of genius lightning masters! Every possible technique, written down in this book. I know it!"
"You certainly seem convinced. But you are misstaken."
Talon looks up with murderous intent
"Do not tempt me old man, you may have your book memorised but this island hasn't seen combat in over 2000 years. You know not of experience, and have no physical mastery over me! Hand me the book. Or die"
"Tut tut. No need to get aggitated my young friend. Have some tea."
"I will rip you"I MEANT have some tea while examining this" He takes out the book, a golden tome small enough to look like a diary.
Talon snatches it and opens it. It has no words inside. As he flips through the pages he throws a dagger in the neck of the nearest sitting son.
An all out melee starts. people jumping ceiling to ceiling, from walls and Talon is a crackling blur of speed. everybody uses lightning saber techniques
( i have divided the magic/weapon style in elements.
Swords have speed and strenght and a little lightning magic
Spears have defence and flexibility and a little water magic
Axe/shield has power and defense or Axe/Axe has 2x power and fire magic
These are the three big nations, who are waging war they also have a book of power possessed by a warchief (fire) and a Knight Supreme (water)
Many other 'smaller' elements exist; dual long knives is shadow, bow is air, claws are wood, longsword is steel, hammer rock, ...)
Fight fills most of the first chapter, with Talon winning by using sneaky (experience) techniques like sand in eyes and flashlights and hidden knives and traps and many more.

Just as the traders carriages stops outside Talon is torturing sensei to death. Talon attacks without even turning his back. Both horse and father get hit. The kid falls out the carriage and climbs to his knees. Talon notices and walks over, he picks up the kid and comments on the chubby kid, he tells the story that he has been on the battlefield since he was 4 years old. He has seen all his friends die and killed many people of all ages. It has never been enough. Still Fire and Water can't be beaten. Not by Talen. Not even now he is the majesty's first sword. Because he has no book, and the kid should see all this is the fault of a stubborn old fool.
"Ah what do you care anyway." And he throws him of the cliff of the island. The kid manages to snatch one of the knives in Talon's belt and flies over the cliffside. Talon returns to the old man and throws the book in his lap. He walks into the dojo to search for what he thinks is the real book.

The kid is hanging from the knive imbedded into a cliffside plant. He slowly manages to climb up. It's nighttime. He curls up beside his dead father and cries. Then he hears someone calling a name. It's the old man. He crawls over to him and the old man coughes up his last words. "Riosakki my grandson, you survived..." The kid looks a couple yards left from him and sees a young boy lying very still.
"No, i'm... he's... he's not"
"Ryosakki you must accept your birthright. You are the 4359th seed of Bari. You must accept the seal."
"But i'm not..."
"Accept it, use it for revenge. You must get revenge my grandson. He is twisted, he will cause much more harm!"
"No i'm not... I'm" The kid watches behind him and sees his father. "I am Ryosakki."

The old man grabs his left hand and a flash of brilliant light shines. A small tattoo is imbedded on the skin of the kids' hand. The old man thrusts the book in his arms. "It is done... goodbye my grandson, live for revenge... in the name of good... never become a Talon. I... I am sorry...I was afraid...I..I was wrong to hide our arts from this war..."

As the old man dies Talon explodes through the wall of the dojo. Gathering up the book the kid vaults on Talon's horse (the only one remaining on the island) and dashes of to the bridge. Talon curses heaven and earth, takes up pursuit by foot and delivers a final cracking spell. It misses the horse by a fraction but destroys a part of the bridge.

A few days later the kid wakes up under a tree in a nearby forest. He was passed out a few days.
He swears to his father to get revenge. He takes the book in his tattood hand, opens it and we see letters begin to form.

End of chapter 1.

Haha, typing isn't fun. Oh well, hope it was worth something.
The next chapter he discovers that only a few basic punches and moves are in the book! It reacts to the mastery of the tattoo. The more he learns to fight the bigger the tattoo gets and so does the knowledge in the book. So character growth would be steady. Wink
He discover Talon has put up wanted signs everywhere with him on it! he is an outlaw now.
Later he will have trouble with what to do with the last words of the old man. He descides it means live to revenge evil, in the name of good!

And i thought of 2 namaka's
One a slender tall boy who is playing football nearby and sees the wanted sign but saves him from a passing guard. He has a caring and defensive personality, bright and never attacks. He would be 'water' of course. He loves the sea and horses and one day hopes to be one of the Knight Supremes Seahorse luitenants.

The other is a kinda strange one. To survive in the woods they contact this kid. He thinks he is a woodnimf. Who are greenskinned and petite. But is very broad with flaming red hair. He was orphaned and raised by nimfs. (He is an idiot) He is afraid of all the things nimfs are afraid of (fire, lakes, seas, ice, technology,...) but has absolutely no reason too. Later we learn he was the child of a werewolf but the nimfs used magic to seal the curse away. He uses clawed mitts, and wood & healing (himself) magic.

And love, ah sweet love. this has to get in here somewhere as well doesn't it. I've been thinking. Maybe (i don't know if i can explain this right) a girl first joins as love interest/namaka but nothing really happens or we dont really show anything happen but give many hints, and then another girl is shown but not as namaka but as a serving girl or something (or anything else, just simple non-fighting girl) who he is also really interested in. Over time the namaka girl is seen more and more as a sister, and the ordinary girl comes forward as the love. It should have to be quite a long manga for this to work Nods
Oh and the clawed one gets a princes or high lady, this would be funny because of the wild wood guy/ highly mannered girl thing.
And spearmans only love is the ocean. aah


Arctic

I'm gonna draw on the "Cross" Idea


In a land called ____, there are three great nations at war.

The Republic of _________
The ______ Empire
and The Kingdom of ______

Each nation has their own armies, fleets, etc etc.

The Elite Unit of the kingdom is called the Grand Cross.

Our young hero, _______, is a trainee (uses a lance, but is also skilled with a sword.) that just got accepted into the GC.

He's an orphan, raised by a mysterious masked swordsman that disappears one day all of a sudden, and then he is taken in by a peasant family.

But that was shattered when the ______ empire attacked their village.

He was out hunting that day, so he was the lone survivor. He swore vengeance on the ashes of his village, and set off to become a member of the Grand Cross.


Other possible characters:

An assassin girl known only as Kunoichi for the kingdom of ______ that attempts to kill our hero but fails and loses her memory in the process (hit by a rock xD)

A mighty general that is our hero's mentor in the GC

An archer that's one of our hero's best friends in the GC

A axeman that is another of our hero's best friends in the GC

A general that destroyed our hero's village for the ______ empire

A female mage, our hero's love interest.

A female swordsman that's a rival to our hero.

A Knight that works alongside the hero but is really a spy.



Draik
(geyter asked for it)

Well, I kind of exagerrated on the script part...Anyhow, here's my idea for a plot.

Meet Jake, a sophisticated, smart, handsome, successful, and very rich. He is head of a multi-billionaire enterprise, that has the most most recent of technology and electronics. He's adept in three languages, history, chemistry, physics, science, and biology. And did I mention that he's a prize-winning swordsman? But Jake, has one flaw, he hates people. He can't stand his life, and he feels completely trapped at times. He tries and tries to discover the truth to life in a way to gain happiness, somthing he doesn't find while dining on cavialr. He is far from noble and sees everything logically as a sequence of events. But he's not your average person that sees everything in numbers and symbols, he's also very deep. He has to be to retain his humanity and continue to search for the truth which to him will bring him satisfaction. A complicated and silent character, Jake doesn't like helping people, unless he's asked to, in which case his concious obliges him to. His best freind is the top scientist, Orsen, who has the complete opposite personality of his freind. He's pretty much simple minded, and beleives in the goodness of fate, but when it comes to his work, he's a genious; three times over than Jake.

The beggining:
Killer. There's a serial killer running loose in the city of Jaron, the centre of the world's commerce, and the richest sity in the world. It's also where our protagonist lives. And it's far from being random to Jake, since everyone that has been killed is his freind, or people that he cares deeply for. But that's not it, the murderer targets people that are important to Jake that no else knew about. Jake decidedes to investigate this with his freind, and searches the very depths of his city. While searching, he gets mixed up in a goverment consiracy, and with him at his wits end, and only one imnportant person left, what will happen? At the same time Orsen has been building a secret machine that could allow humans to distort time and space!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There you go sparksy, I did what you asked, and I even gave it a nice tone.

Now I am sure you're dying to know what happens, right?

Well here then, nothings too good for our leader.
After being driven close to insanity and with the help of his freind, and a film that left a whole city block exploded, he realizes the terrible truth. He is the murderer. This leaves him totally broken, mentally and emotionally. So much so that he can't even stop what the goverment is trying to do: start a nuclear war that will destroy over half the total population of their planet, and destroy their enemies. But here's the twist, Orsen discovers that the enemies are onto the project that their goverment is trying to do, and starts a war before the bomb can be activated. Orsen trying to help the crippled Jake and knowing that their world is turning it's deadliest chapter, does what he can to save Jake. At the end, Jake comes out defeating his alter ego, and before the world explodes, they activate Orsen's machine and discover that they've been taken to medevial world, a world they know nothing about...The world of cross.

If you're still not convinced, then I can send you a message, analyzing this story, and what I plan to do. And could you still think about the cheif thing? I'd aprreciate it. Anyway, got to go, I am on my lunch break


06-09-2007 08:57 PM
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Arctic
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RE: The current Plot ideas.

Quote:

I'm gonna draw on the "Cross" Idea


In a land called ____, there are three great nations at war.

The Republic of _________
The ______ Empire
and The Kingdom of ______

Each nation has their own armies, fleets, etc etc.

The Elite Unit of the kingdom is called the Grand Cross.

Our young hero, _______, is a trainee (uses a lance, but is also skilled with a sword.) that just got accepted into the GC.

He's an orphan, raised by a mysterious masked swordsman that disappears one day all of a sudden, and then he is taken in by a peasant family.

But that was shattered when the ______ empire attacked their village.

He was out hunting that day, so he was the lone survivor. He swore vengeance on the ashes of his village, and set off to become a member of the Grand Cross.


Other possible characters:

An assassin girl known only as Kunoichi for the kingdom of ______ that attempts to kill our hero but fails and loses her memory in the process (hit by a rock xD)

A mighty general that is our hero's mentor in the GC

An archer that's one of our hero's best friends in the GC

A axeman that is another of our hero's best friends in the GC

A general that destroyed our hero's village for the ______ empire

A female mage, our hero's love interest.

A female swordsman that's a rival to our hero.

A Knight that works alongside the hero but is really a spy.





I don't have time to elaborate yet, gotta run...




Yes, I made these myself. No downloaded brushes.
06-09-2007 09:59 PM
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Draik
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RE: The current Plot ideas.

Hey, why is my idea there?





06-10-2007 12:01 AM
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Sparks
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RE: The current Plot ideas.

Geyter wanted me to put it up there.


06-10-2007 12:20 AM
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geyter
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RE: The current Plot ideas.

If my idea or arctics' gets chosen, the manga will center around weapons/hand-to-hand combat. So are the drawers sure they can do this? i mean it's not like One Piece where you just see the end and the name of the move, it's more Ares' style (or Berserk or something) where there are a lot of moves and twists and swordplay. A lot of little drawings, you know. So if this would be too hard or too timeconsuming, you should warn us.

And yeah, sorry draik for not warning or asking you if we could post your story. I just wanted everybody to be able to make a complete choice you know.
My fault :)

This post was last modified: 06-10-2007 12:38 AM by geyter.

06-10-2007 12:36 AM
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Draik
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RE:  The current Plot ideas.

geyter Wrote:

If my idea or arctics' gets chosen, the manga will center around weapons/hand-to-hand combat. So are the drawers sure they can do this? i mean it's not like One Piece where you just see the end and the name of the move, it's more Ares' style (or Berserk or something) where there are a lot of moves and twists and swordplay. A lot of little drawings, you know. So if this would be too hard or too timeconsuming, you should warn us.

And yeah, sorry draik for not warning or asking you if we could post your story. I just wanted everybody to be able to make a complete choice you know.
My fault :)


Sorry mate, but as you writers have the right to do whatever you want with the story, artists have the right to draw it the way we want.:D

And yea, sure I could do something like that. I say me, because I can kind of see that I am going to do most of the work, since Sparksy is...Sparksy, and Arctic is always busy.





06-10-2007 03:43 AM
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Sparks
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RE: The current Plot ideas.

Draik... you really have your own way with words...And lets not be stubborn about work. you will have to draw it in a manga style and keep to the writers descriptions. as the writers have to keep to there own rules.


06-10-2007 04:10 AM
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CrazyBleachFan
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RE:  The current Plot ideas.

geyter Wrote:

If my idea or arctics' gets chosen, the manga will center around weapons/hand-to-hand combat. So are the drawers sure they can do this? i mean it's not like One Piece where you just see the end and the name of the move, it's more Ares' style (or Berserk or something) where there are a lot of moves and twists and swordplay. A lot of little drawings, you know. So if this would be too hard or too timeconsuming, you should warn us.

And yeah, sorry draik for not warning or asking you if we could post your story. I just wanted everybody to be able to make a complete choice you know.
My fault :)


Yeah where mine will problably be a combination of saying moves, like Naruto, OP, DBZ maybe idk, and what geyter is saying. So, idk about that for the artists lol. Now then, off to next topics to read :thumbup:





Itachi Uchiha: Suzaku, the Vermilion Bird
Remember the chapter! Naruto 363...The worst chapter ever written.
06-10-2007 04:50 AM
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Sparks
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RE: The current Plot ideas.

Seems cool, but this place is where you guys can discuss whats good, and whats bad about each others work.


06-10-2007 05:30 AM
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geyter
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RE: The current Plot ideas.

Ok, bad stuff.
Euh CBL could you describe what monsters look like? i have no idea from your discription if it is humanoid or not...
And arctic could be a little more specific, or finish the work.
Oh and Arctic you said you weren't feeling any of our ideas so could you explain what the bad parts are, or wich variations you would wanna see?

I don't think mixing these stories up would work, or at least not very well. Except maybe changing my story (dropping the book and tattoo and stuff) and mixing it with the cross story. Or with the CBL story where you change the spirit-user girl with my hero (or heroin if you prefer), but the time would have to change and the magic use and well it would be kinda pointless because it would ruin CBL's story :D

And would everyone (especially the non-writers) tell me what is bad about my story. It really is the only way i can become a better writer you know.

06-10-2007 09:00 AM
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